Hop Aboard the Bailout Bandwagon

by beagooddad on December 9, 2008

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Now that the banks and the Big 3 automakers have their bailouts lined up, it looks like it is time for the little guys to get organized.

I will hop on my bike with Duck Hunter and head to Washington keeping the following firmly in mind.

The first thing I plan to do with my money is fix the tires on my bike because it was way too much work riding this bike with flat tires all the way to Washington.

I promise not to waste my money by saving or investing with banks or by buying a new car because those industries have already been bailed out and should be fine for a while. After all, none of them wanted to give me any of their new bailout money.

Instead, I promise to spread my money by buying a new entertainment system with HD everything. Then I will start aggressively purchasing BlueRay movies to help the struggling movie industry that is getting hit hard by people pirating movies that they had no plans of watching if they had to pay for them.

I will spread my money to the struggling tech industry where US work is constantly being outsourced by immediately retiring and freeing up one job for an unemployed tech worker.

I will spread my money to the struggling book industry by buying massive quantities of eBooks to help pass my free time now that I will be retiring early.

I will spread my money to the traveling industry by booking a trip to Florida for the January 1st Outback Bowl where my Iowa Hawkeyes will be beating up the South Carolina Gamecocks. I will also sign up for memberships at all of the local museums and fun places for kids and immediately start frequenting these destinations and the surrounding food places.

I will spread my money to help the education system by volunteering daily in the kids’ classrooms.

I will spread my money to lots of other little guys buy hiring somebody to clean my house, clean my fish tank, mow my lawn, shovel my drive, cook all of our meals in a healthy and tasty manner, and handle all of the repairs around the house that are more complicated than changing light bulbs.

Hop on your bike and join us. How are you planning on using your portion of the bailout of the little guys to help stimulate the economy?

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