Staying Positive

by beagooddad on December 30, 2008

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Parenting is tough. Some parents always seem tired, frazzled, and crabby.

I try to stay positive around here because it just seems to make everything feel easier when I stay in a positive mood and focus on successes and happy moments which almost always happen more often the failures and sad moments.

Over two years ago, I wrote a post about raising twins. I focused on the positives. And I’m still getting grief from people seeing the glass half empty.

Talk about a cheap shot.

My question is whether Randi was striking out at me because of difficulties that she has in her own life or if she is just playing the normal stereoptype card of dad’s escaping parenting responsibilities by hiding at the office.

Either way, it’s a cheap shot.

I know my personal shortcomings as a father and husband and work to minimize those. Randi can’t possibly know those but still after reading one or so posts, assumes that I have it easier than BeAGoodMom.

I would even be willing to say that I think BeAGoodMom has it rougher than I do a lot of the time. She has what I consider that worst parenting option. Part time worker from home. The constant bouncing back and forth between home life and work life and the complete removal of the barrier between the two.

But Randi doesn’t know any of that, either. She also doesn’t know that I work at home on Tuesdays so that BAGM can go into the office one day a week. During those days, I have to work 8 hours while managing the bus schedules, the baby’s nap schedule, the food schedule for all of the kids, entertaining them after my work is done and putting them to bed.

Does that mean BAGM has it easier than I do on Tuesdays?

No, she is busy doing her thing and has to deal with commute, office politics, being away from the kids, eating outside of the house and all the crappy things that come with working for a living.

But I really try not to think about the down side of it when I work from home or work at the office. They both have their challenges with regards to getting work done and being a parent.

Instead I try to enjoy the positives. I enjoy giving the kids baths and putting them to bed. I enjoy taking the kids to Kyuki-Do class twice a week. I enjoy trying to find opportunities to get some or all of the kids away from BAGM on some weekend days. I enjoy being able to pay the bills and buy fun stuff now and then.

It’s not always easy to remember all of that. For example, we are just recovering from a couple weeks of everybody being tired and sick. That’s been rough. But during that time, we’ve had a blast at Christmas parties, a trip to the museum, reading books in goofy voices, having tickle fights, etc. When people ask how things are, that’s what I’m most likely to talk about.

The twins are already almost 6 and the baby is already 1 year old. I don’t want to look back in 12-20 years when they all get around to moving away and only be able to remember being tired, frazzled and crabby.

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