The Power of Yes
Post written by: beagoodmom
I have been working on saying “yes” to the kids more. Kids ask for some ridiculous things, but so far its been going allright. I want them to have a great childhood, not be afraid to ask for something or bring up an idea. I don’t want to be too busy to say “yes.” Alot of the things they ask me for are no big deal, but sometimes they come at an inconvenient time. And sometimes they *are* alot of work. But saying “yes” makes me feel good, I am proud of the effort I have made. In the past few weeks, I have answered yes to the following questions:
Can we go outside and make snow angels? - by Geetle
Go play on Playground? - by Pookie
Can I have a straw? - by Pookie and Geetle, every meal, every snack, for weeks.
Can I take a baby with me?- by Geetle
I need pompoms - by Pookie while working on an art project (sometimes he struggles with the question format)
Can I cut it myself?- by Geetle
Can we pretend I am Diego and I will rescue you from the tree with this rope?- by Geetle
Mama push in swing?- by Pookie
Can you paint my toenails?- by Geetle
Can I have my own grocery list?- by Geetle
Mama sit? - by Pookie when he just wants me to sit next to him on the couch for no reason.
What I learned in this experiment is that there are a lot of reasons to say “no”. I just got home from work, I just cleaned the kitchen floor, Its almost bedtime, it would make too big of a mess, etc. But there are a lot more reasons to say “yes”.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
I think I need to say “yes” a little more, too. Thank you for the reminder.
January 31st, 2007 at 12:20 am
This is a nice reminder. There are so many more things we can say “yes” to. Sometimes we just find ourselves saying “no” a lot, and we need to stop and re-think.
I really like the idea of saying “yes” instead of “no”.
“Can we go to the park?”
“Yes we can, after we’ve had something to eat.”
“Can we read a book?”
“As soon as these bricks are cleared up.”
January 31st, 2007 at 8:22 am
Did I say yes enough? MOM
January 31st, 2007 at 8:40 am
Boy, you said it! I’m often strapped for time and opt to say “No” when something really doesn’t matter. I have whole days where I feel like all I say to the boys is “No”. Lately I’ve been trying to do better too; I take a similar approach to Rory - “Yes, after we eat”, etc. It’s so nice and they know then that they are really important. Not to mention that it always makes me feel good to say yes to them!
January 31st, 2007 at 9:26 am
MOM, to answer your question…Yes. Some of the things I do with the kids are taken directly from your playbook. For example, the kids and I put colored water in spray bottles and paint on the snow, just like we did as kids. We also occasionally have “pajama days.” And this morning I gave the kids a Birthday donut before school, because you can’t have cake for breakfast, but you gotta have something special. (They don’t like Jello so much). Its fun stuff and it doesn’t hurt anyone, so why not?
When we were growing up, I remember doing alot of pointless things (things that were my idea, like the time I decided to take a pair of blunt scissors and cut down all the dandelions from our yard and put them in an empty 5lb orange sack) but you and dad never told us not to do them. In fact, you must have been the one to give me the scissors and orange sack when I asked.
January 31st, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Thanks for reassuring me. Love MOM
February 1st, 2007 at 3:54 pm
what did you say when geetle asked to cut herself? I know you meant cut something by herself, but it sounded funny. I love my grandkids:) beagooddad”s dad
February 4th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Thank you for sharing this with the Carnival of Family Life.
February 4th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
[...] When it comes to your kids, do you say “yes” enough? Be A Good Mom shares with us The Power of Yes. [...]
February 5th, 2007 at 10:46 am
Ah - such a good reminder. There’s a reason the first word is often no. They hear it so much. It’s not always possible to say yes, but when you become aware of it and it’s power it’s amazing how many times you can!
Hugs,
Holly
Holly’s Corner
Here via the Carnival of Family Life. ;o)
February 5th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
I think as parents we often default to “no” partly because of so many, many, many requests! At least it’s like that in my family!
So being more conscious and saying “yes’ appropriately is wise advice.
Here via CFL
February 27th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
[...] been working on more posititive reinforcement and letting them play the way they want to. I also watched one of those Nanny 911 type of shows that really beat that point into me again. It [...]