Helping My Autistic Son Buy A Birthday Present For BeAGoodMom
Post written by: beagooddad
BeAGoodMom’s birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. I decided that I was going to take each of the kids individually to buy presents for her so that I could really work on explaining to Pookie what we were doing.
So, Pookie and I walk into the store today and he is completely uninterested in being there. Pookie is not really into the kinds of things that we are planning on buying BeAGoodMom.
I walked him down the aisles and racks and pointed and chatted and questioned and prodded.
Nothing.
So, I ended up resorting to picking out a small handful of items and having him pick a couple of them and then had him carry the bag out to the car.
Then when we pulled into the driveway a couple hours later, I asked him what we had bought without showing him. He was able to tell me what it was. I think that was huge.
So, this isn’t part of the autism series (that I promise to get back to soon), but I do have an autism point here. Buying presents for somebody else is a pretty abstract concept that has zero reason to excite an autistic child but it is an important social concept to learn.
Be willing to take little steps on explaining how the whole concept works.
I am absolutely thrilled that he was able to pick from the small subset of choices that I picked out. I am even more thrilled that he was able to talk about it a little bit long after the even with no prompting.
In a day or two, we’ll be wrapping the presents and I’ll take the opportunity to explain what the presents are for. The day we give BeAGoodMom the presents, I will see if he can remember what is in the wrapped boxes before we give them to her.
Baby steps. He will learn this stuff. He is already more cooperative present shopping than he was last year.

August 17th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
It is a huge step. I think we’d have had to add another 30 minutes for the choosing bit - always our stumbling block.
Best wishes
August 17th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
Thanks. The main thing that eventually worked was pulling out a few of very similar items and having him pick between them. I can’t go into more details without giving away the present, but greatly reducing the choices helped a lot. It would not have worked at this point without me doing that.
August 18th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
I will go out on a limb and say it is NOT an autistic thing not to “get” buying presents for people. T still doesn’t really get that when we go to a party they aren’t his presents and he can’t open them. Also, with T-man’s birthday the day after mine he asks after everyone’s birthday if “mine tomorrow?”