Not Playing With Your Kids
Post written by: beagooddad
There seems to be so much focus on parents needing to pay more attention to their kids that sometimes we forget that sometimes they need to play without us. I’m really hoping Geetle learns to play independently any day now. Yep. Any day now would be just fine.
Pookie on the other hand is an independent play all-star.
The other day, I was in the back yard with Pookie. The girls were watching a movie together. I had already played with Pookie most of the day and dragged him around town on a few errands including making him go birthday shopping with BeAGoodMom. I could tell he needed some down time.
So I just watched him while I read a book on a porch swing we have in the back yard.
He did a few things:
- Played basketball
- Played in the sand box
- Played tee ball
- Picked a dandelion
- Went down the slide
- Swung on his belly on the swings
- Ran up the hill shouting “Up, up the hill”
- Rolled down the hill
- Picked up a bunch of toys and put the lid on the sand box (without me saying anything)
- Sat next to me on the swing
We were only outside for about an hour. There were others that I have already forgotten. He had a great time, without me. I got to see the things he is really interested in these days and will know to play some games that involve those things the next time we get a chance to play in the back yard…if it ever stops raining around here.
August 22nd, 2007 at 8:57 am
Balance is the key. Many parents can’t let the kids have the down time you described as they think they need entertaining all the time.
Others don’t direct them at all and the kids entertain themselves with inappropriate things for long periods of time. Hopefully we can learn to strike a middle balance and learn when to play with and when to step back.
Thanks a timely post.
Here’s another interesting discussion on parents and play from a play expert.
http://raepica.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/07/should-parents-.html
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:39 am
Thanks for the link to the post I did about parents playing with their kids, Melitsa!
And kudos to you, Mike! As you saw, one of the benefits of letting children play on their own is that they get to discover what interests them (and if you’re watching, you get to discover it, too). They also learn to entertain and think for themselves — two skills they need to practice NOW and not suddenly try to acquire as adults. And don’t get me started on what’s going to become of a whole generation of individuals who can’t use their imaginations, or haven’t had the important sensory experiences only the outdoors can offer!
I am so glad you understood your son’s need for downtime — and that you shared this story!
August 23rd, 2007 at 11:12 pm
As Buddha said, take the middle path. Everything extreme is no good. I do agree that sometimes we have to let our kids play by themselves. This gets even more important as they grow older.
As a dad, by just observing my kids play: what they play, how they play, already makes my day. And it’s important too to observe what their interests like.