The Mystery Of The Phantom Poop

by beagooddad on December 6, 2007

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BAGM went out for a little alone time at the hair salon after I was done with work tonight. I ordered Pizza Hut and me and the kids watched some Arthur on PBS. About this time, Giggles woke up politely demanding some dinner. While feeding her, Pookie started looking a little wiggly and distracted.

I told him to go try pooping. He walked to the bathroom but I couldn’t really follow him since I was busy with Giggles.

A couple minutes later he came back with his pants unbuttoned and started watching TV again. I noticed that his pants were wet which frequently happens when he poops in his pants.

I marched him upstairs (so he could clean himself up in the shower), dropped Giggles in the crib, told Pookie to take off his clothes and start cleaning up.

When he pulled down his pants his underwear were wet but not dirty if you know what I mean. I made him sit down and try to push the poop out. He complained and said that he didn’t want to and that he just wanted to go put on his underwear. He normally says this when sitting on the toilet whether he needs to poop or not so I didn’t let him get up for several minutes.

BAGM had returned during this time so I didn’t have to worry about Giggles in the other room but it seemed like Pookie really was not going to do anything in the toilet so I told him to put his clothes in the hamper.

That’s when I noticed that his heiney was a little dirty. Those of you that have kids that know how to poop but don’t know how to wipe will know what I’m talking about.

But his underwear were clean. What exactly happened here?

I figured that there might be a little more left to work on so I had him sit back on the toilet and try. No good.

In my confusion, I picked up his clothes and noticed that his underwear were a little wet but not nearly as wet as his pants and the crotch area was dry.

What is going on?

Then the light bulb went off.

“Did you poop downstairs?”

“Yes, poop. I want a Kit Kat.”

We walked downstairs and sure enough, a big poop in the toilet and a puddle of water on the floor. Apparently while pooping, the pee flew a little wildly and sprayed his pants and the floor.

The mystery of the phantom poop – solved.

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