Beagoodmom had a doctor appointment this morning.  She could have dragged the kids in with her, but would have been seriously cramped on time trying to get everybody fed, dressed, to the doctor’s office, and then back to Geetle’s school by 9am.

Since I’m on the bench at work (that’s consultant speek for surfing the internet all day until the sales guys find somebody to send me to), I decided to just come in late and get the kids ready so Beagoodmom could go by herself.

This is what morning’s go like when Beagooddad is in charge.

  • Wake up and get hugs.  Good start.
  • Let Geetle spend the morning in her underwear because she wants to keep her fuzzy slipper jammies clean so she can wear them again tonight.
  • Frozen waffles for breakfast.  1 1/2 chocolate chip Eggo waffles for each kid.  Then a supplementary bowl of goldfish crackers.  And milk, of course.
  • Chase the kids upstairs and into their bedroom to get dressed.  Realize that I don’t know how to pick a matching outfit and just pull out a pair of pants and shirt for each hoping it will be good enough.  This is similar to how I get dressed each morning except I have to factor in waistband sizes on a lot of my pants.
  • Sit on the floor and read two Arthur and DW stories.
  • TV in our bed.
  • Tooth brushing and hair brushing.  While watching Arthur and then Clifford on TV, I pulled the kids one at a time into the bathroom to brush their teeth.  Then I sat on the bed with Geetle and brushed the rat’s nest out of her hair.  I made a mental note to set a trap next to her bed to prevent this in the future.
  • Encourage the kids to stop watching the TV for a second to hug Beagoodmom when she returns.  Give up when I realize that she is used to being ignored during TV time.
  • Shower.
  • Realize that it is almost time for me to leave for work and Geetle to leave for school.  I should just take her on my way.
  • Walk Geetle out to car and then back to house to retrieve my lunch and give mom hugs and kisses and high fives.
  • Let Geetle tell me how to get to school.  I’m pretty sure I know the way, but why risk it.
  • Laugh when the nonstop jabberbox turns into the whispering shadow inside the classroom.  I think they hide the kryptonite in the hamster cage.  What else could explain the power the classroom has over Geetle.
  • Find the mom I am supposed to exchange phone numbers with to set up a playdate with Geetle’s newest boyfriend.
  • Hugs and kisses and high fives before I am allowed to leave.
  • Off to work.

Dads, if you are normally out of the door before the kids wake up like I am, this is an excellent way to get to be absolutely in charge of the morning routine and remove a large burden of stress from your wife’s day.  Plus note that the genders in the previous sentence can be swapped or mixed and matched as fit your family best.

Geetle’s newest boyfriend is a real player.  He did not say one word to her when he walked into the classroom.  Somebody needs to tell that boy that he might want to start being nice to his girlfriend’s dad.  Or maybe he’s going to always play the macho boyfriend and drive wedges between dads and their daughters.  Punk kid.