If We Bought Our Children From iTunes

by beagooddad on September 24, 2006

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Everything entertaining seems to be available on iTunes these days. Music, TV shows, movies. If you want it, they might have it. As long as it is part of their catalog.

Maybe someday, once technology advances a smidge, maybe we’ll be able to buy kids from iTunes.

A few things will be different once iTunes gets involved, though.

  • Long deliveries will be replaced with downloads that are only as painful as your broadband speed.
  • You and all of your friends will all have the exact same kids.
  • The coolest baby carriers will be decorated with a U2 theme.
  • Because of DRM restrictions, if iTunes ever modifies the DRM on future releases, your current children will be completely incompatible with all the new hardware and need to be replaced with a new kid at full price.
  • An underground, free, illegal kid swapping and creating network will develop. Doctors and adoption agencies will feel the financial pressure and start suing parents for illegally creating their children. They will complain and beg us before the first day of school and during PTA meetings to not illegally create kids.

On the plus side, we’ll be able to hit pause anytime we need a break.

Update: I entered this into the Carnival of Family Life, that I also happen to be hosting this week.  If you are interested in the other entries in the Carnival, they are here.

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